That shiny new car on the lot isn’t just coming with free floor mats and a suspiciously enthusiastic sales guy anymore. No, dealerships have quietly added a mysterious new “protection package” to the menu — one that sounds like it belongs in a spy thriller rather than your service contract. For the low, low price of $109.95 (or as little as $8.95 a month with approved credit, because apparently even squirrels respect Sunbit financing), they’ll hook you up with something called BANISH.
And yes, Spies, we’re talking about the official, factory-adjacent answer to the furry little terrorists who treat your engine bay like a luxury Airbnb.
Here’s the deal: BANISH Rodent Deterrent is a specialized spray formulated with essential oils that create a smell and taste rodents apparently find about as appealing as a vegan barbecue. Mechanics mist it into wheel wells, under the hood, along wiring harnesses, and anywhere else a mouse might think, “Ooh, cozy nesting spot with built-in heat!” The warmth of a recently driven car makes the engine compartment rodent real estate prime, and these critters love to chew wires, nest in air filters, and generally redecorate your $40,000 ride while you sleep. One chewed wire can lead to hundreds — sometimes thousands — in repairs. Dealers have seen enough toasted ECUs and mystery dashboard lights to start offering this as a proactive add-on.
It’s equal parts hilarious and humbling that we’ve reached the point in automotive history where your options now include “paint protection,” “extended warranty,” and “please don’t let a squirrel turn my car into a condo.” The squirrel silhouette on the signage is a nice touch — like the dealership is gently mocking you while taking your money. “Yes sir, for just over a hundred bucks we’ll make sure no woodland creatures mistake your new ride for a Hilton.”
Is this the future? Probably. Between rising rodent populations in urban areas and ever-more-complex vehicle electronics, dealers are turning pest control into profit center. Similar products exist (peppermint oils, capsaicin tapes), but BANISH is the neatly packaged, dealer-branded version complete with SKU 02HYZBANISH and monthly payments. So, readers — have you spotted this sneaky little service on your last dealership visit, or do we have another exclusive unspied phenomenon on our hands? Drop your sightings in the comments. And if your car suddenly smells like a very aggressive spa treatment… congratulations. You’ve been BANISHed.